“Oppressed groups are frequently placed in the situation of being listened to only if we frame our ideas in the language that is familiar to and comfortable for a dominant group. This requirement often changes the meaning of our ideas and works to elevate the ideas of dominant groups.”
— Patricia Hill Collins
Hello, I’m Joy Westerman and I’m a student from the United States. I study Gender and Women’s Studies (queer theory, gay and lesbian studies) and Cognitive Psychology (memory, learning, language, development, neuroscience) at Knox College, a small liberal arts school in Illinois. This semester…
The internet is ruining my life. If I am to believe what the internet tells me, as a queer man I should want to be married. Marriage will save me from myself. It will complete me. Once my love is recognized by the State, I may visit my husband in a hospital. I may guarantee the seamless inheritance of assets. Marriage, I am told, is hygienic and prevents disease. And though some states may not want me to adopt children, many lovely people would support my wish to do so, because the children are our future. If I believe what I read on the Huffington Post Gay Voices, my life will have looked something like this: I was born among a foreign people. They didn’t understand me, and so I was sent to school to be bullied. I would come home in tears and think about suicide, but after seeing an earnest video I would learn “It gets better,” and despite the confusion of that indefinite pronoun, I understand that I should find my way to a city where I will discover my LGBTQetc. ethnicity. Gay Pride, brought to you by Budweiser and Absolut Vodka will be my new favorite holiday. If I wanted to join the military and help keep the terrorists from winning, and make a touching video that will go viral in which I come out to my father while looking totally adorable, I can do that too and fear no repercussions. Welcome to progress!
If I am to believe what I see on Bravo TV, we homos are best when we are renovating, revising, making it work, or critiquing a dress made of garbage bags and birdseed, or fashioning the seamless tastefulness of Martha’s farm—our Witch Queen who has got rid of all the men but us. We are told we should pity poor Anderson Cooper when his impossibly hot boyfriend is photographed making out with another dude in the park. Poor Andy! We know to lash out at Azealea Banks when she calls Perez Hilton (one of us!!) a “messy faggot,” even though he is, you know, a messy faggot. And we reserve special venom for Jodie Foster, locked for years in Hollywood’s panic room, publicly declaring herself in a speech as incoherent as Nell—TAY INA WEEN! She did it wrong! Fuck her!!
Is this who we are and want to be? If so I, for one, am no longer gay. The word has emasculated us long enough. I will not be a handmaid, will not renovate, will not help you mate with your dowdy spouse. My place is in the margin—at the edges of things—where the grass (beautiful uncut hair of graves) gets long and the shadows afford us some privacy. I do not want your army, want no one in jail for calling me a faggot (did I just commit a hate crime when I said “faggot?”) Being a homo is not an ethnicity. I will explore my gay shame. If I could I would send us back to a time when we fought for liberation, not for privileges meted out to the most privileged among us. I will not marry. I will not come out. I was not born this way, but built my queerness like a soul. I am no longer gay.
Huffington Post’s front page gender breakdown for March 21, 2013.
(Source: , via forgetpolitics)
From "How a Wound Heals" by Roxane Gay
"Not queer like gay. queer like, escaping definition. Queer like some sort of fluidity and limitlessness at once. Queer like a freedom too strange to be conquered. Queer like the fearlessness to imagine what love can look like… and pursue it."
Brandon Wint (via etiquette-etc)